It has always been my experience that cigar enthusiasts are among the most generous people on the face of the earth. It’s nothing for most Brothers/Sisters of the Leaf (BOTL/SOTL) to walk up to a fellow enthusiast and hand them a cigar, often without knowing them for more than a few moments. This generosity extends well beyond the passing out of cigars, but that’s a different article. This article is about giving out cigars, most importantly the fine art of the “Cigar Bomb.”
Now if you’re a seasoned member of one of the many cigar borards out there (i.e. Cigar Weekly, Cigar Pass, Social Cigar, Puff or Stogie Review Fan Forum) then you are likely familiar with these “destrcutive devices”. Cigar Bombs have filled wish lists and humidors for years. But for those of you who are not familiar, or perhaps want to send a few out, read these directions carefully. Not following these instructions could result in losing a limb.
First off you have to pick a target(s). My favorite target is a fellow BOTL/SOTL who takes pride in their own “bombing” runs, but there are endless reasons to hit someone.
Once you have acquired a target you want to spend some time putting together the ammunition. This is where you can start to get creative. If you’re hitting someone from a board, take a little time to try and figure out what they like and what they want to try. If you can fullfill any of those categories, then you just increased the destructive capabilities of your ordinance. Now the number of cigar you include is completely up to you. If you’re hitting somone with some rare sticks then it’s understandable to keep the cigar count low. But remember there is really no guideline to follow here, just pack up the cigars until you feel good about it.
You may also decide to include other items of interest. Pieces of Swag, gourmet coffee, cigar cutters and matches all make great additions to a “bomb.” I also enjoy including a “regional” item. This item could be as simple as a house brand from your local shop.
Some people like to also include a note. This can either be a personal note explaing why you bombed them or a generic “You’ve just be hit by ___________…. You can run but you can’t hide.” Again, this is a great way to be creative, so go wild and have a little fun with it.
After you’ve acquired your target and the ammunition is chosen it’s time to pack up the goods. Pick out an appropriately sized box, making sure you have adequate space to include packing materials. Place celloed cigars a Ziploc bag. Any non celloed cigars should be packaged individually to prevent damage. Single cigar baggies are available for sale at Cigarmony. If the package will be traveling a long distance or the weather is either extremly hot and humid or cold and dry, you may consider including a humidificatin device such as a water pillow. This will help to ensure that your devious device hits the target causeing the most damage possible.
Cigars can be very fragile so make sure you use plenty of packing materials to ensure safe delivery. Bubble wrap and packing peanuts are obvious choices, but I often use old crumpled up news paper. I also suggest using plenty of tape to seal up the box. Not only will it ensure the contents remain inside the box, but it will also help to ensure the elements don’t find their way into the box.
Locked and Loaded:
Once all the prep work has been completed it’s time to launch. I suggest sending the package USPS Priority Mail with Delivery Confirmation. This way you can reasonably garauntee a speedy delivery and you’ll know when the ordanance has be delivered.
When it’s time to lauch there are two more decision you need to make. Will this attack be stealth or not? Often time on the various cigar boards there may be a thread posted with multiple Delivery Confirmation numbers listed, or only states. Then the sender just waits for the packages to hit. This is fun method because you can watch foks get excited, and even start planning their retaliation. However, if you want to go for maximum damamge, I suggest going stealth. Allow your package(s) to arrive completely un announced. The target will be so thrown off he/she won’t know what to do. If you’re looking for added stealth do not include your return address, that way retaliation is not even possible.
I hope this post was helpful to anyone who is new to the “Cigar Bomb.” I also welcome comments with any pointers you may have or questions that we can answer. Cigar bombs can really brighten a persons day, so remember BOHICA!